


Babies

by demonshide7



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band), Kim Jaejoong (Musician), VIXX
Genre: Gen, Other, YooSu - Freeform, YunJae, wontaek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 23:18:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6928255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonshide7/pseuds/demonshide7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>VIXX has 5 adorable problems. And it's going to get weirder....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Babies

“I’m the eomma!” N was telling the boys. ALL of the boys.

Tears were forming in baby Yuchun’s face even as Hyuk held him and jiggled him.

Baby Changmin started to wail hearing the sharp tone N had used.  Ken looked at Changmin and started to baby talk with him which had the tot quieting down but still hiccupping. 

Baby Junsu buried his face in Hongbin’s chest looking for a breast to suckle on.

“Uh… eomma, this one is looking for something,” Hongbin was trying to get Junsu’s mouth away from him.  “And I’m telling you, no matter how pretty I look, I don’t have that!”

Ravi held baby Yunho and Leo held baby Jaejoong close to each other because it was the only way the two babies would be quiet and not make a fuss.  They discovered that as long as the two could see each other, they were okay.  So, Ravi and Leo had to sit side by side on their sofa.  N was wondering if they’d have to sleep together in the same bed as well.  This was just too… crazy…

Leo looked at N and said, “You’re going to have to figure this out, N, because we can’t keep so many kids in the house.  And I sure as hell am not your babies’ daddy.  The four of VIXX, okay.  Never signed on to these kiddos.”

“These aren’t mine, though!” N protested.  How the hell did he end up with these kids?  Then he remembered something vaguely. 

Seo In-guk sunbaenim said that a friend was going to drop off a package for them to please take care of said package until he comes back in three days.

“Seo Inguk sunbaenim!” N exclaimed making Yuchun drop fat tears again and whimper against Hyuk’s shoulders. 

“Dammit, eomma N!  The kid was just about to be quiet!” Hyuk exclaimed though quieter because he was aware of the little one’s agitation. 

He huffed and went to sit next to Hongbin on their living room floor.  The little guy trying to find food on Hongbin’s chest turned around as if he smelled the baby in Hyuk’s arms.  He chortled happily and reached for baby Yuchun’s fingers.  Yuchun quieted down when baby Junsu nuzzled his hand and sucked on his thumb.

Baby Changmin looked at Ken’s face and slapped it.  It was making kissy faces at baby Changmin and Changmin wanted it to look like something else.  Ken obliged and wraggled his eyebrows.  Changmin slapped again and Ken changed his facial expression.  Slap, change, slap, change, slap…

Ken sighed.  “Hurry up and figure out something, eomma, because my face feels numb,” he muttered so N could hear, but won’t disturb the babies.

N was on the phone, muttering to whoever was on the other line.

Within minutes, Seo In-guk came in and turned pale at the litter of babies that was in the dorm of VIXX.

“But… these aren’t mine!” he exclaimed.  “He said a package, not babies!” 

N narrowed his eyes at his sunbaenim.  “Hurry up and figure something out!  We’ve got a schedule to do!”

The CEOs of Jellyfish Entertainment were also called.  They laughed and laughed and said that VIXX and Seo In-guk had better figure out what to do.  They didn’t even want to touch the babies. 

Maybe SM Entertainment wants five babies.

Baby Yunho popped open an eye and reached for Ravi’s face.  “Appa!” he chortled.

“I’m appa, kiddo,” Leo corrected. 

Baby Jaejoong heard and reached for Ravi’s face.  “Eomma?!?” the child asked.

Leo looked at Ravi and wanted to laugh.

“How do I look like an eomma, kid?” Ravi asked in his booming voice.

“Eomma!” baby Yunho copied and laughed.

“Well, the kid looks sorta like you, Ravi,” Seo In-guk said. 

“Not mine, sunbaenim, so you can get that evil thought off of your head,” Ravi said in a singsong smiley voice.

“Appa!!” Yunho called, grabbing at Leo’s arms. 

“Ugh,” Leo sighed.  “Okay, baby, you want to come to me?  Jaejoongie has to go to Ravi then.”

Leo looked at Ravi and said, “Let’s switch.”

Ravi laughed and held out his free hand for Jaejoongie.  He was the classic Snow White.  Pale, pink skin, red, red lips, dark dark eyes and black black hair.  A very pretty child who sort of reminded him of Leo.

Jaejoongie chortled and clapped his hands together.  “Eomma!!!!!” he sighed as he sank into Ravi’s chest. 

Leo cuddled the other boy to his chest.  He stood up and was about to walk to the bathroom when Jaejoong started to wail as he could see Yunho being taken away from him.

Yunho started to fuss and whimper as he heard the piercing cry of baby Jaejoong.

Leo turned and looked at the other baby reaching out its arms to him and the baby he held in his arms. 

Ravi looked at the two babies with big eyes. 

“I don’t know if I can take this, hyung,” he said. 

Leo bent down and arranged baby Jaejoong unto Ravi’s left arm and deposited baby Yunho in Ravi’s right arm.

“I’ll be right back, okay?  I promise I’ll be right back,” he said calmly.  “I just need the restroom.”

“Oh, good, now you can help me…” N started to say.

Leo sighed.  “Nope, deal with it and hurry up.  I need to pee.”

And Ravi looked at the retreating back with a look that could almost say, “Take me with you.”

N sighed.  He approached Ravi and was about to take one of the babies.  Both babies squirmed to get closer into Ravi’s chest and were breathing hard.  Ravi could feel that they were close to getting ear splitting wails soon.

“Hyung!  Hyung!  Stop!”  Ravi said clearly alarmed at the agitation being displayed by the two. 

Leo came in quickly at Ravi’s alarmed voice, his hands still dripping from his having washed it. 

“What’s the matter?” Leo asked.

Baby Jaejoong and Baby Yunho wanted to climb up Ravi to hide behind him. 

Leo pushed N gently away from the babies.

“Sssshhhh,” he soothed.  “N is going away.  That’s it.  Leo won’t let N hurt babies.  I promise.  It’s okay.  Come to Appa.”

Both Jaejoong and Yunho immediately transferred themselves to Leo’s arms.

“If you need to go to the restroom, drink something, eat something, hurry up because I can’t hold two for long,” Leo told Ravi.

“And you,” he looked at N pointedly.  “Don’t come near the babies.  You may be VIXX’s eomma, but the kids think you’re some kind of evil thing.”

“Jung Leo, how dare you…” N said in a somewhat shrill monotone.

“Hyung, I think we need to feed the kids,” Hyuk said. “The way Hongbin’s kid is eating my kid’s fingers, there’ll be nothing left by the time dinner comes around.”

N looked at  baby Junsu who was sucking on three of baby Yuchun’s fingers now.  Baby Yuchun was just looking at him with a tiny smile playing on his face.  There was slobber all over Hongbin’s kid’s face.

Their manager wanted to laugh. And he did. N glared at him.

Seo In-guk came back from a phone call he made with his face really pale.

“They’re all mine,” he whispered.  “I wouldn’t have thought so, but that’s what she said.”

“How the hell can you have all five at the same time, hyung!?!” N exclaimed.

“Well,” Seo In-guk swallowed.  “You see… She was… She is… my love from a different star?”

N rolled his eyes. Oh, brother!

“Alien?” Ravi exclaimed as he again took one of the kids from Leo’s hands. 

They had to stand close to each other or the kids in their hands would whimper.  They stood and swayed side to side hoping the kids would sleep.

In-guk nodded.

“What kind of nonsense are you spouting, hyung?” N asked.

“But it’s true!  And I… am supposed to take care of them for just a little while until their surrogates are ready,” Inguk said.

“How long before they’re ready?” N asked.  “Ah, never mind.  Here, here’s a list of things you need to get.  I hope they’re human enough to drink milk and stuff just like human babies.”

“Get the milk right away, hyung,” Hyuk said.  “I swear, Hongbin’s kid looks really hungry.”

“This one, too,” Ken said.  His chin was now in baby Changmin’s mouth.  “I guess because of my pointy chin, he thinks of… you know… female things… so, hurry.  I’mma get a hickey from all his chewing.”

Hongbin was just glad that the baby in his arms wasn’t trying to find something he didn’t have.  But he happened to glance at the babies on Leo’s and Ravi’s shoulders.

“I think your babies are asleep, Leo hyung, Ravi,” Hongbin said.

Leo warily stepped away.  Just a little inch.  Ravi did the same.  One big step and Jaejoong who was in Ravi’s arms started to whimper.  Hearing the whimper had Yunho squirming in Leo’s arms and scrunching his face. 

Leo looked into Yunho’s face and said, “You look ugly scrunching up your face, kiddo.  You won’t become an idol if you do that.”

Yunho looked at him momentarily then let out a whole three octaves higher screeching until Ravi stepped back within feeling distance of Leo.

Yunho sniffled, reached for Jaejoong’s hand and snuggled back into Leo’s shoulders.

“Okay, apparently, this one has the lung capacity to be a singer, albeit needs some control there,” Leo said shaking his head.

“What are you talking about, hyung?” Hyuk said.  “All of them have the lung capacity to kill all the other idols!”

N groaned.  He remembered when the babies first got there.  The crying was incessant and horrible! 

Not even Ken’s piercing wail could compare.  Baby Changmin being the worst of the five.  Until they settled into the arms of the current formation, there was just no respite. 

Inguk got the list and N had to go with him to the first store to get milk bottles and milk because the kid in Hyuk’s arms was really about to become a slobber monster from the kid in Hongbin’s arms.  He has abandoned Yuchun’s fingers and was already suckling on the fleshy part of the arm.

N shook his head. 

The other five watched him with desperate eyes as he left with Seo Inguk.  N knew he had to hurry back.  The babies may be Inguk sunbaenim’s but the other five taking care of them were his responsibility and they were already exhausted, desperate, but for him… They were still hanging on in there.  He will not let them down. 

The milk and milk bottles didn’t take too long, so N rushed back to the dorm.  All five were now sprawled on the floor with five babies close to each other, holding onto limb parts.  Jaejoong held unto Yunho’s hand, Yunho held Changmin’s leg, Changmin held Yuchun’s leg and Yuchun’s fist was in Junsu’s mouth.  Junsu’s chubby fists were wrapped around that one hand tightly.  The babies were all lying down on each of the members of VIXX’s chests and stomachs.  Changmin was still suckling on Ken’s chin.

N made fast work of sterilizing the equipment needed to feed five babies.  N also made fast work of boiling water for the formula and cooling them down  just a bit with the baby water that was cooling in the refrigerator.  He also made sure to test them on his wrist like Taekwoon’s sisters had shouted over the phone.  When that was all done, he took the bottles to the tired members and handed them over, one at a time. 

The babies suckled.  And after they burped, they fell asleep. 

The other members also fell asleep, the babies still cradled on their stomachs.  N took blankets and placed them on each of the members before scooting between Ken and Hyuk.  The baby, Changmin, seemed to be the most independent from the other four.  The other four had actual preferences as if they were co-dependent on the other.  Most especially baby Yunho and baby Jaejoong.  The cutest of the pairs, but damn, even this little bit of thought had N drooping.  He fell asleep with baby Changmin tugging gently at his hair. 

 

Seo Inguk tiptoed around the kids.  His manager and VIXX’s managers also set up what they could as quietly as possible. 

The kids were exhausted, and they weren’t talking about the babies.  Not only that but VIXX had a schedule to do in 6 hours if even that.  Seo Inguk was calling people left and right to see who could help him watch the children. 

N woke up after 3 hours.  The rest of them woke one hour after. 

Inguk’s dilemma was fast becoming a tragedy for VIXX. 

Considering that their schedule consisted of live broadcasts with Weekly Idol , Hello and finally Happy Together, it was going to be a mess.  However, they had no choice.  Not one of the babies would go to Seo Inguk, be parted from their chosen person for more than a minute at a time, go to N, or any of the managers and noonas. 

Ravi, Ken, Leo, Bini, and Hyuk could not get themselves freed. 

All of VIXX’s siblings tried to come and help out, even their parents, nothing happened.  The CEO looked at the situation and told the managers, “Bring the kids with you.  Seo Inguk-ssi, hurry up and talk to the woman whose offspring these are and negotiate.  You can’t honestly leave the babies to these kids, you know.  And go with them.  Even if it’s only to change one or two’s diapers, or mix the formula, you should help.  N is even able to do that much and the five kids do not want him, as you can see.”

“They have no taste,” N muttered. 

Baby Changmin gave him a raspberry.  Baby Yuchun chortled.  And baby Junsu let out a sound that sounded like dolphins laughing. 

“Great!  Now they’re turning into animals!” N said. 

“My arms are killing me!” Ravi said.  “Between Leo and me, we’ve got two really heavy kids!”

“Wanna trade?” Hongbin groaned. 

“Oh, please,” Ken said, “mine is obviously bigger than any of yours!”

“Don’t discount this dolphin sounding one!” Hyuk said.

The CEO instructed the managers on what to say to the program. 

So, the world found out that Seo Inguk was supposed to be part of a reality program with one child, but the orphanage sent five and they delivered the children to VIXX’s dorm.  And because of that, the children are now attached to VIXX and won’t allow anyone else to so much as touch them. 

It has been exhausting, VIXX said in all three programs. 

They noted that none of the children liked to go to N unless it was briefly when he’s holding a milk bottle.  Once they had the milk bottle, they reached for their chosen person again. 

Doni looked at N and said, “I knew you weren’t going to be a good caretaker.  Are you sure your team needs you?”

“Ah, buyah, hyung!” N said.  “I have to support the team!  I’m the one that feeds my five members by hand, make the formulas, diaper those brats’ posterior ends!  Prepare the members and help them get dressed!  I’m taking care of ten kids, hyung, seriously?” 

“How are we going to make them do random player if they have kids, Doni?” Coni asked.

“We can do it,” Hyuk said, strapping Junsu into his front pouch and standing up.  “However, we request that you keep it to this selection.  We can’t do the special effects ones.”

“But that’s what I wanted to see!” Doni said. 

N bowed his head and said, “We’ll try.”

So, the boys were given random plays and the staff sort of went easy on them anyway. 

The babies were laughing as the six men exerted themselves.  Right after three attempts that was pretty good considering, Coni and Doni stopped it because seeing the cool VIXX still being cool with babies strapped to them was just too hilarious that even the camera started shaking from the cameramen laughing like crazy. 

The babies did not only laugh, but their gurgles sounded like they were trying to match each of the members’ voices.  Their legs and arms were all over the place that VIXX members looked like they had extra hands and legs. 

Coni and Doni shook their head and were holding their stomachs.  It was too hilarious for them. 

Baby Changmin was fascinated with Coni’s glasses and wanted it.  He patted Ken’s face over and over and pointed to Coni.

“You want Coni?” Ken asked. 

The baby looked like he nodded.  So Ken brought the child over, thinking wow!  N and Seo Inguk’s jaw also dropped.  One of the kids asked to be brought to another person?

“I’m sorry, hyung, but Changmin seems to want you,” Ken said.

“Then I’m better than N!” Coni said chortling. 

“Maybe he thinks you’re a teddy bear,” Doni chuckled.

“Grizzly,” Coni said laughing.  “Maybe he thinks I’m Santa…Hey!”

Changmin grabbed Coni’s sunglasses and placed them on his face.  Then he reached back up to Ken and pulled himself off of Coni.

“Ah!” N said.  “He only wanted your sunglasses, hyung!”

Coni reached over to pluck back the sunglasses from the tot’s face. 

When the sunglasses was removed, Changmin let out a wail so loud and high pitched Coni dropped the sunglasses and Doni immediately crawled over to pick it up and put it back gently on the baby’s face. 

The other four had immediately stood up and was rocking and swaying their children. 

Changmin pouted, sticking his spit slicked lips out, his eyes were dewy and wet, with fat tears rolling down.  He sniffled as Ken soothed him, rocking and swaying, talking to him in baby talk and making weird faces. 

Doni hit Coni.  “Don’t do that!” Doni said.  “I think my eardrums just about broke!” 

N sighed.  “Imagine all five of them doing that in variations.  This one seems to have acquired Ken’s high pitched voice.”

Doni and Coni had fun with the kids in varying ways.

 

Hello Counselor was a different matter. 

The hosts were a little disturbed that five of the six had babies attached to them and Seo Inguk was also with them. 

Between N and Inguk, they were able to help feed the kids, but the ones holding them were more taxed as they also had to listen to the dilemmas that the people had picked.  Sometimes, it was Ravi and Leo in the ball pit with their babies throwing balls at each other. 

They were even allowed to slide down the slide much to Changmin’s and Ken’s delight.  As the stories grew, the babies settled in to nap.  N and Inguk breathed a sigh of relief.

 

Unfortunately, that meant late night cafeteria Happy Together meant the children were definitely awake.  Jaeseok and Myungsoo were astonished as were the ladies with them.  The set was indeed full! 

The noona writers were really fascinated with the babies. 

It was funny, but Hong Sukcheon already knew about the babies, so his menu was decidedly easy for babies.  And finger foods for the people taking care of them. 

It became a talk about babies.  Jaeseok made fun of Myungsoo who tried to get the babies to go to him and all either turned away or gave him a baleful stare that looked a lot like Leo’s.  Myungsoo laughed when Jaeseok had no luck either. 

 

The kids were exhausted when they got back to the dorm.  Seo Inguk was as well.  Their managers, too. 

Thank goodness the VIXX families of noonas and hyungs came to help out as well as their parents.  So, although the kids were tired, they were taken cared of when they got home.  They couldn’t be away from the babies for too long, but they took turns each of them and their families helped them get fed, clothed and back to cradling babies that seemed to want to play on them.  They all slept in the living room exhausted.

 

A few days after, they met a beautiful lady with Seo Inguk.  She shone like something from another dimension.  She beckoned the children to her and one by one the kids went to her.  Except Changmin. 

“No,” he said.  “Like Ken-ken.”

The lady stamped her feet and glared at the tot. 

Changmin ignored her.  Ken was already crying knowing the kids were going away and they’ll never see them again. 

Baby Yunho crawled to baby Changmin and stood up.  Baby Jaejoong also crawled to baby Changmin and stood up.  And right before their eyes, each baby transformed into a full grown adult that transformed into different colored dragons. 

The dragons bowed to the company.

“Thank you!” they chorused.  “We’ll see you soon!”

And they disappeared.

N had to hold onto crying VIXX, Taekwoon being the worst and next to him Ravi who was crying and wiping Leo’s tears.  There was Ken who couldn’t say anything but hold onto Hyuk and Hongbin just bawling.  Leo turned to tell N something.

“….if you don’t wake up soon, I’m going to pour ice water on you!”

Leo’s voice penetrated N’s mind. 

His eyes popped open.  N looked up to see the faces that were in his dream all around him.  He suddenly remembered slipping on stage and toppling over, the bright spotlights the last thing he saw.  JYJ had finished their stage and TVX2 was set to be next after VIXX. 

“You guys grew so big!” N said happily looking at Dong Bang Shin Ki as a whole.  “I’m so glad to see you guys!  Do you remember me?”

Leo frowned at him and said, “Ambulance.  He’s clearly hallucinating.”

 

 FINI!!!!!


End file.
